I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Yes, it's a great song by U2 but I've been wondering about it for the last couple of days. More to the point, I've been wondering about what I've been looking for.

Professionally, I'm not sure what I want to do. I once thought a career in sports, basically in media relations, would be my life. It may still be where I'm headed again, but I got burned out on it about a decade ago. However, I miss the people and I've still stayed close to sports and maintained my contacts.

Life revolves around sports still and, it seems, it always has. I've found other passions -- hunting, fishing, good beer -- but things always seem to come back to sports. I recently came back from my annual fishing trip, our 21st annual trip (God, where does the time go?) and had a wonderful time as always. The time spent with my best friends is always great but it was coupled with the best fishing we've had in those 21 years.

I came home only to have my high school baseball team, seeded second in the section, lose its first playoff game and the season came to an abrupt end. I've been in a bit of a funk for the last three days because of it. This year's team was one of the best groups of kids I've ever had to work with and I'm looking forward to the Legion season getting underway this weekend.

I went most of the winter without a hockey team to work with and that was really hard. Anyone who has read my blog posts, knows I was struggling with some issues earlier this year and not having games to prepare for, to work, a team to be with, was a part of those issues. It gave me too much time to dwell on things rather than just plowing ahead and getting things done like I usually do.

The other thing I had issues with was relationship issues, or lack thereof. In that regard, I really don't know what I'm looking. I mentioned that to J the other day, that I didn't know what I was looking for. Along those lines, it seems J reads me better than I do myself. I'm thinking I may need to talk to J to see if she has any advice for me and if I can find any answers along those lines.

I've always let my professional life rule over everything else in life. However, without much in the way of a job, I've found myself wondering what I may have missed in life and what I still want.

I had some good conversations with my two best friends while I was fishing. They both made me look at, and think about, some things a little differently than I have been. If there's one thing in life I don't have to look for it's better friends.

I don't have answers to the questions I have. I don't even know if I'm asking the right questions. I know I'm looking for something but I don't yet know what that is, but I hope to have some answers soon. My friends give me peace of mind and the belief that I will find what I'm looking for.