You've Got A Friend

"When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand,
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights."

You've Got A Friend -- James Taylor

I guess I found that out this weekend. Without the resources to go visit friends recently, one of my best friends went out of the way to come visit me, bring me to see some family and other friends, and, essentially, show me how good of a friend they really are when I need to be picked up.

Without a doubt, J had a lot of fun at the St. Patrick's Day party we attended but didn't want to go alone. However spending an extra eight hours of driving to do it with me, paying for most of my weekend and, in general seeing that I enjoyed myself, is a lot for any friend to do.

J told me that driving here was also an opportunity to see some others friends and pick up some things that aren't available back home. But I think it was also J checking to see if I was doing OK. We had a long talk last week and I was able to talk about some issues I was having with J and, even after that, I was shown the greatness of our friendship.

I always think of others before myself. It's one of the issues I've had with J because I don't see that very often with J. In fact, J looks out for number one a lot without realizing, or seeming to care, how it affects others. This week, though, J looked out for me. There was no reward in J's actions this weekend. It was just a friend who came and looked out for me when I needed a friend. The time J spent on me this weekend is worth much more than money.

Sometimes, when wallowing in a bit of doubt and self pity, I forget about these things. I really need to thank J for reminding me of that, for being such a good friend and for many other things that go beyond just this past week.

That thanks goes out to a number of my friends who are there for me when I need them. Thanks go them and one especially good and close friend. J, you really are a bestie.

The Road is Long

For the first time in, God only knows how long, I ran a mile and a half on the road today. I've done that and longer on the treadmill but, for those of you who run on both, you know there's a vast difference.

The kicker is that I did it in under 18 minutes. That's not a great time by any means. However, when you weight around 260, and you look back two years and realize you weighed 380 pounds and would be worn out by walking a few blocks, well, it's a long way to have come.

Especially when I got on the scale after getting back and it read 257.8. A few weeks back, I had gotten down to 259.6 but had a birthday party that weekend and my dietary habits weren't good and I was back up to 265 the following week.

I've been eating better the last weeks or so but I also took three days off any kind of workouts and had more than a few beers since my last weigh in and I was hoping I hadn't gone up from that 265. Needless to say, it was a pleasant surprise and was a much-needed boost to my emotions.

I just read on a friend's blog that he's finally found a job and I'm happy for him. I love Titus and his family and I know it's been a little bit of a strain, so I'm going to have a beer to salute him.

I also chatted this morning with another friend of mine who had a good interview yesterday and feels strongly she'll get the job she's after.

That news gives me renewed hope that there is something out there for me and that perserverance will, in the end, pay off.

Right now, I feel good. It may be a long road but I'll enjoy what I can, I'll learn from what I can't enjoy and I'll take it all as it comes.

One and a half miles. Just 2,640 yards. Driving my truck I can cover that distance in 90 seconds. It doesn't seem that far. But the road back to where I once was is long.

I'll Keep Searching

Whatever happened,
I don't understand.
These feelings I have
Are beyond my command.

I cannot think,
I can barely function.
These thoughts of mine
Form a new emotion.

I find that my mind,
It goes off to wander.
This whole process
Now makes me ponder.

The answers won't come,
They're so far away.
Despite my best efforts
Both night and day.

But I'll keep searching,
I'll look high and low.
Someday I hope
The answers I'll know.